Tuesday, February 18, 2014

September 7, 1995 through March 14, 1997

Priorities: for work next fall. 1. Job in aquaculture in Carteret Co. 2. Grad. school at U.N.C. Chapel Hill 3. Teaching at Secondary level in Carteret Co. 4.????? 9-8-95 A week into September. The morning, is, or was, till summer sounds of stillness, crickets and other insects, maybe cicadas, chirping in unison creating a background chorus. Winds of yesterday afternoon have fallen off. Boris was restless this morning at 5:00 and now is gone. He seems a different dog these past few days, older. Almost makes me think he's had some stroke or something. Yesterday morning he was waiting for me to eat breakfast, by standing in the kitchen staring straight ahead into space, then he'd move to the living room and do the same thing. No coffee yesterday morning and geez what a grouch, and over-sensitive, I was. Caffeine and I are buddies now. One of the next things I have to work on now is the statement of background interests and future plans in Marine Science for Grad School. My clock shows 6:00. Bo cleans and scratches his native fauna of fleas. The sky is lightening but darkness overtakes my gaze when looking below the tree line. Background: As an undergraduate engineering student at Penn State University I found that my interest in biology surpassed my interest in engineering. Maybe I should start this project with an outline: I. Engineering to Marine Science. II. Marine Science @ Southampton III. Natural Resources Experience. A. Shellfish Management Survey. B. Flagging Wetland; fresh and salt. IV. Smithsonian. A. Collecting algae-covered corals. B. Working on the boat, maintaining collections. C. Helping out @ Biosphere II. Closed system. V. Aquaculture for East Hampton Town. A. First season growing out seed purchased from hatcheries. B. Subsequent seasons conditioning animals, spawning, larval culture, post-set culture. 1. Benefits of moving from a large-cultch setting to a micro-cultch setting. 2. Improvements in spawning bay scallops and continued problems w/ conditioning bay scallops. 3. Concerns regarding mortality. a. Survival of clam seed after rerlease to market size. b. Overwintering of seed in 2 bottom types. 4. Realization in conducting research of my limited knowledge regarding experimenttion, ie setting up a valid experiment, and using the proper statistical analysis. 5. A need to write for grants. VI. Future plans relative to Marine Science. A. Setting up own small-scale business in coastal North Carolina growing oysters and clams. B. Would like to develop a system whereby oysters could be grown to market size w/out great losses. VII. Interests. A. Gaining a working knowledge and ability to successfully write for grants. B. Be capable of setting up valid scientific research. C. Learn about Marine microbiology and the effects of marine microbes on shellfish culture in coastal N.C.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

New Journal: May 1, 1994 through September 4, 1995. GOALS: 1. Finish painting and preparing "Seasoned" by May 8 for her sale next week. Still waiting for buyer 6/5/94. 2. Get truck started, possibly painted, and sell. Sold truck July 4th weekend. 3. Pay off land and interest owed with a portion of proceeds from above sales. August 18th. 4. Save $20,000 by May 1, 1996. 5. Buy a sturdy, practical, inexpensive, simple boat for travelling up the Hudson Riveer, through the Great Lakes, down the Mississippi through the Gulf of Mexico and up the intracoastal. 6. Make the trip previously mentioned in one year's time beginning May 12, 1996. 7. Write and sell short stories before and during #5 and #6. 8. Study for G.R.E.'s, Take G.R.E.'s Spring '95. Get scholarship based on scores. 9. Get a PhD. in Biology - Shellfish Biology from Duke. 10. Start up adn runa a small, non-polluting, profitable bay scallop and/or oyster growing company. 11. Build the sea kayak before May 1, 1996.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

A new journal: January 1993 through March 1994.

Maybe it's because when Tom's around he's talking and telling new stories. New words and patterns that I haven't heard before. I think of Tom as an average guy like myself. When I talk to Tom I don't feel nearly as self-conscious as I do with John. I still can't figure it out yet. Maybe because John is the "boss."  I don't think that's it either. As he said quite some time ago, I'm intimidated by him. Made timid. But why? Am I trying to win favor, acceptance, friendship, good judgment? Maybe one, some, or all. Maybe because I think we're similar in many personal philosophies I put great weight on his words as some kind of guide. You know, though, that doesn't work and as you can see it creates weird pressures.

This talk with Tony (D'Agostino) on Friday while frustrating and time consuming could be used for my edification. "Think about what you say before you say it and consider your reaction to other reaction." Not with everything at least not the last part. I think I wanted to stick a needle in Tony's side about Dixie Lee Ray, which is okay but then my reaction to what Tony was saying about me wasn't okay. If was emotionally charged. The fact is, I was putting down a "favorite" colleague of his. Anytime you "dismiss" a friend of someone you better be prepared for the vituperative, venomous response. Cause you know damn well that is what you'll get. You certainly don't have the gift of oration like 95% of the people around you. Be aware of that fact. Not that you can't improve. But right now you're on ground zero or pretty close to it when verbal exchanges take place. Don't forget to laugh. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

The laughing is one thing that I forget about underlying all life. The grand joke of God playing a joke with life. We're all a part of him. All of us in our many forms. But when I forget that and think of US and THEM life becomes the dichotomy. Republicans, Democrats, Gays, Anti Gays, Pro-Choice, Pro-Life. Right to Bear Arms, Gun Control movement. When Sandy's on the phone with Gary don't get bent out of shape. They, we are all one. You think your survival depends on Gary's love. It doesn't. He is but one portion of God. You don't have to worry about his love anyway because he'll always love you, just as you'll always love him. God loves everybody because they are all him. What a light that casts on this life. Instead of being down about what Gary's dreams are, help him, but be honest. Friendship is love. I guess my survival does depend on being loved. Gary's love, Mom's love, Terry's love, Karen's love, Diane's love. They are all a part of God. I care if they love me. What happens when they aren't around to love? Cross that bridge in its time remembering that we are all God.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Journal Dated January 3, 1992 through January 18, 1993.

The journal is a gift from my friends Karen Krozlowitz and Rich Muller. Gary and I lived w/ Rich and Karen at 95 Pelham Street, Southamptn, while they dated during her Senior year at Southampton College. Their gift of journal also contained a book on sketching.

January 3, 1992

I dedicate this book to Rick and Karen. My friends.

I'm twenty-seven years old. A little more than ten years older than when I started keeping a journal. I think this gift from R & K appeals to me because it seem like the only way I can slow down the clock.

I never thought I'd have chickens. Maybe the three chicks in the coup by the compost pile won't make it to adulthood. Already a fourth (Thelma) was eaten by a cat (I think) at Mom's.

I hope they live.

If some friend looked into the future when I was seventeen and said, "ten years from now you'll be hsaring a house with two friends, a dog, a guinea pig and three chickens, I'd know without a doubt that that friend was crazy. If someone told me that three years ago I'd think the animal part a bit much. For some, unknown to me, reason I'm gravitating towards animals and vice versa. I'm thinking about hwat it would be like to have a wife and children. I've never seriously thought about that before.

Seeing Grandma (Hassler) in the nursing home has a lot to do with family thoughts. So did seeing all the family at Diane and Bob's. Talking to Vicki (Marsland, neighbor/friend from Sale, Australia. She, living in the U.K. visited over the 1991 Christmas holiday) about friends and how friends get married and have kids. "It's a natural evolution," she says. I like that natural evolution. Maybe the seeds of naturalness are ripening inside me. Instinct is guiding me without cognitive knowledge. The desire for church, family, friends, animals are the outward signs of the guiding instinct.

pencil sketch of Rowena, my guinea pig.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Working part-time at the East Hampton Town Shellfish Hatchery in Montauk, beginning late July 1990.


The town had purchased seed shellfish and was growing them in upwellers at the hatchery in Montauk. Water was pumped from Fort Pond Bay 300 yards to the building and into tanks that housed the upwellers. Upwellers are made out of PVC pipe. The first ones we made were 18" in diameter and 18" deep with a screen mesh on the bottom and feet to keep the screen off the bottom of the tank. Shellfish were placed on the screen in the upweller. Water flowing into the tank moved up through and past the shellfish, exiting at the top side through a fitting that went through the side of the tank. Thus shellfish were able to filter algae out of the water moving past them to grow.


Upwellers needed to be bumped at the beginning and end of the day to dissipate air bubbles that often formed on the bottom side of the screen. If upwellers weren't bumped and air built up, water coming in to the tank would not flow up through the upweller and out the side. Instead the upwellers would float and the water level in the tank would rise until it overflowed the top of the tank containing the upwellers.


Winds from the northwest also effecting upweller efficiency due to the hatchery's location on Fort Pond Bay, a large bay with long fetch to the northwest. After most low pressure systems moved through the area, high pressure systems, with strong northwest winds often followed causing large waves to break on the beach where seawater intake lines were located. Algae and other detritus stirred up by wave action would also clog the bottom of the upwellers, requiring seawater to the tanks to be stopped, the tanks drained and hosed down to remove the built up algae and detritus.


At this time we were also building the various components needed for larval shellfish culture. We made tables that conicals, 100 gallon, cylindrical tanks, would be placed in to grow the larval shellfish after they were spawned. We repurposed over 24 cylindrical 100 gallon, fiberglass tanks that we got from a defunct oyster aquaculture business that had used them to store lime, what they used to control starfish (sea stars) on their oyster leases. The tanks had a conical shaped bottom. We cut the bottom few inches off the tanks, then made a jig of a funnel to lay fiberglass around the bottom so we could place a hole at the bottom of the conical that could be plugged with a cork. A hole in the center of the cork allowed us to supply air into the bottom of the conical. When the conical was filled with seawater, air coming up from the bottom of the conical kept water, larvae and algae, that we grew and fed the larvae, circulating.


Since I was employed as a part-time contractor, I kept track of the hours I worked and the work I did. This record allowed me to complete accurate time sheets to be paid for my work.


The following are some abbreviations I used in my work descriptions:
UPW - upweller
BP - Bumped, as in bumping upwellers.
SK- Skimmed, the settling pond where water leaving the hatchery went before going through pipes,
        300 yards to a final settling pond landward of the beach at Fort Pond Bay. Nutrients in the water
        caused several species of green macroalgae to grow in the pond. Eventually the algae would die
        and become foul smelling so we skimmed the algae off on a regular basis to let it dry in the sun.
PD - settling pond described above.
B.C.T. - building conical table. We built 8 tables. Each table held three conicals. After building
              the tables we covered them with several coats of coal tar to keep them from rotting.
A.M/P.M. T. - Recording incoming water temperature in A.M. and P.M.


DATE, TIME IN/ TIME OUT/ LUNCH/ACCOMPLISHMENTS


7/30/90 12:00/5:00  12-2  SKPD. Afternoon temp, BPUPW


7/31/90 8:30/6:15   12-1 SK PD, Separated nailed boards, BCT, moved UPW tanks, w/ JA, (John Aldred) BPUW


8/1/90  8:00/11:30  SK PD, BP UPW, BCT


8/2/90  8:00/7:30  3:30-4:00  SK PD, BP UPW, BCT, worked on 5 hp pump w/ JA, Cleaned UPW, measured clams and distributed w/ JA and ST (Sue Talay).


8/3/90  9:30/5:00 1:30 - 2:00. BP UPW, moved cinder blocks (used to support upwellers, we hadn't built tables for upweller tanks yet), set up cleaning table, Put core samples into T.T. Cleaned up pipes in conical area.


8/4/90  1:00/2:00 Cut 2 pieces wood, BPUPW, SK PD.


8/5/90  12:30/3:30 BP UPW, Cut wood for 2 conical tables, weeded front loading dock.


8/6/90 8:15/5:30, 1:30 - 2:30, SK PD, BP UPW, Filled out Civil Service Packet, went to Town Hall, Bluff Rd., Riverhead Bldg. Worked w/ Rick (Salter) in p.m. Southampton Lumber for 2 x 4's and carriage bolts. Cut angled pieces for conical tables. Picked up A.C. (for algae room) from P.C. Richard's in Southampton, BP UPW. P.M. T 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

July 1989

A hot day here in Etters, PA.

I've lost track of the days. I've gone through the beauracracy steps now I have no job and am on vacation until the middle of August.

I spent a week with the family at Diane and Bob's. Every body's gone back to their separate states and that is that.

I ran into a friend not long ago who has this problem. It's touchy and I feel funny writing about it here. But if not here then were? Let it out of the jumble of thoughts that are rolling around in my insides, yelling into each cell for help and resolution.

This friend, Mark, who I haven't seen for along time seems to be doing well from outward appearances. but as we talked I got the impression that he had something on his mind, something that was starting to work its way to the surface. He didn't seem to know how to handle it and asked if he could confide in me. I wasn't so sure I wanted to get into a heavy duty discussion. My resident assistant days were in my past and I wasn't sure I knew if I could successfully listen to someone.

I looked at the ground and then up to the sky just trying to buy time and figure out what was up and down. "Go ahead," I said almost daringly even a bit coldly.

"It's hard to start," he said. "I'm not sure how I got into this or why I want to get out."

"Into what?" I said.

"A relationship."

"That's a start."

"I love this person and we've spent three great years together."

"So, why are you questioning it?"

"First of all the other person is a guy."

"Oh."

"I'd like to say that I'm going through life to experience it. And now I'd like to move on. Sounds pretty cold and clinical."

"Well maybe that's true, but how does a negative label help you solve your problem? It doesn't. It just makes the problem harder to deal with."

"I guess I'm just afraid to deal with this. It's not the easiest thing to work through; another person's involved."

"Well if your unsatisfied with the way things are you owe it to yourself to spend some time working through it."

"You're right but I'm still kind of overwhelmed. We've tried to stop our being lovers and tried to focus on the friendship side, but sharing the same house makes it damn difficult to break out of old habits since neither of us is a real bar socializer - well at least not me."

"What does being a bar socializer have to do with this?"

"It's jumping a couple steps. If we don't go out how can either of us meet new people?"

"Hang on a second. I feel like I'm missing the point here. What's wrong with your relationship?"

"Nothing's really wrong with it. It's just that I don't want to believe that I'm gay. I don't think I am but if I'm having sex with someone of the same sex that means I'm gay. I don't want to be gay. So to not be gay you must go out with women."



Sunday, January 12, 2014

July 25, 1986

Today the opel was dragged off to the junk yard - orange hazards blinking sadly as it went out of sight.

What a good car it was. I even got it to run again before the tow truck guy took it away. I can remember Dad working on it after we had it painted and then found it needed engine work. He did work hard on it. We pulled the engine out using his revered come-along hooked to the central beam downstairs. He ran to Harrisburg to have this part polished, the Clines to have the alternator repaired, to Wintermyer's junk yard for piston cap (the original broke on my way back from Florida in 1984, and Dad came to get me in Lumberton, North Carolina.) AAA in State College, towed in NJ when Barb and I drove to check out Southampton College for the first time. An auto repair shop in Altoona - the Opel broke down when Tom Miorelli, Barb and I were on our way back from Indiana University of PA where Tom and I had picked up Barb.