Journals of a Human Being, Homo sapiens, male: July 16th, 1981 thru December 27th, 2013

Friday, December 27th, 2013 @0840 hours
      Sunny morning. I feel as though I went through some kinda birth yesterday. Bicycled to Alexandria, VA from Oxon Hill Library and Meade Church wasn't open. Also bicycled to Christ House and a sign on their door said closed until 01/02/14. Okay then. I decided to go to the Barrett Branch of Alexandria Library...looked up more on the Pelton Pump for generating electric using low amounts of water w/ high head and manual pumps...realizing the dead end of spending any more energy on that "project." I thought perhaps that was the "project" Marie the Psychic was talking about at Gurney's in Montauk when Chris had me spend some time w/ her. Am thinking I have a clearer understanding of the "Project." Actually very enjoyable. Thank you.
     I was rather emotional after emailing Ed a "thank you" for his thoughtful Christmas card and explaining some of the stressors I was feeling when I saw him/family @ Diane and Bob's. In fact my eyees were briming with tears as I logged off. Had to go into the men's bathroom to cry. Then on my bicycle ride back to the Temple, after reading some books I'd placed a "hold" on that arrived @the library: Allen Ginsberg's Poems and another book about the influence of gay authors on American literture in the sun by the water near the Torpedo Factory, was finding myself to be rather emotional...no doubt, not having lunch was playing a role in my raw emotions. Actually had to sit for a while along the WWB and cry for a while...
     When I got home I felt so cold. Heated up a container of chicken broth that I got from the Food Pantry last Saturday and ate the whole thing plus lots of water w/ honey (from Oystercatcher bees) plus wax. Still cold, so I started the water running in the tub for a good soak. It helped but still seemed to get cold too quickly. Made me think of other times I'd been so cold...early 2000s in November after snorkeling in Napeague Harbor for bay scallops to take to NC for the holiday, January 1996 after the blizzard when I drove from Springs to c-ville adn the land, X-country skiing then camping in my tent in snow on the land, then not being able to get my feet into my frozen/misformed x-country ski-boots, the time it took to get them thawed in my sleeping bag, then ski back to the car; getting swamped as Jenn and I kayaked across Shark River Bay in February 1992 and having to swim to land and probably the first time in July 1986 when a thundeerstorm doused the tent Gary and I were camping in in the Walking Dunes by Napeague Harbor after we'd bicycled there from Southampton one weekend.
     More recently, the 2x thuderstorms got me on my "End of Times, Beginning of Life" ride-in campaign for President in May 2012. First storm was the night I stayed/camped in the waterfront park in Oriental, NC. That was the same day where I met the guy in the park on the other side of the Neuse River near Cherry Branch Ferry who'd tried to kill himself and waved me over to call 911. The second time on that trip was @ Anteitam National Battlefield on Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. After getting to the battlefield at about 4 that afternoon, I got sick 3x and felt so lousy I just set up my tent behind the Visitor's Center after everyone had left. Then a huge thunderstorm came that had my tent blowing likea plastic grocery bag, I was wet and in a ball, face-down, trying to stay warm. It was a beautiful sunndy day on Monday.
     Anyway after thinking about all those experiences and not having any luck getting warm/hot water to add to the tub, I opted to crawl into bed after a long period of crying while I lay belly-down in the tub in the dark bathroom...definitely felt like being in "the womb."
      As I lay in bed, I had more feelings/thinking maybe this is what a baby feels like before birth. Comfy and warm in a dark place. I also had chills...interesting just experiencing those chills, they felt like radiating circles starting from the side of my chest then spreading over my whole body...I wondered if that's what contractions felt like to a baby as it's mother is getting ready to go into labor.
     Funny how I definitely could relate to being a baby as I lay in bed. Feeling okay but then tears errupting from out of nowhere w/ waves of chills. Eventually I fell asleep.